1: Golden Point
young kings and old sacrificial traditions
THEOGAD was a young king with a coastal monarchy extending from The Point of Hope in the North, to The Hopeful Point in the South, across many points all along the way. At no point, though, was there anything as important as the city of Golden Point, a place where golden sunsets lit up the cliffs, spires, and high-rises at the end of each royal day.
In its youth Golden Point was content and unassuming, loosely scattered among beaches and foothills, but with its ascension up and into mountains and cliffs, it developed a certain ambition. Driving up the winding and circular roads, like rings in a tree, one could mark the maturation. Below, it was simple buildings, wooden and stoned. Above, it was superstructures, glassed and alloyed, pointing and angling to get ahead in commerce, trade, politics, and religion.
The people of Golden Point were religiously devoted to their God and land. It was this devotion that inspired them annually to hold a week-long festival culminating at the highest cliffs of Golden Point called The Point of Sacrifice and New Beginnings for Everyone.
It was there in the cliffs, where the people joined the king in what was always a picture-perfect moment. They would feel the embrace of the day’s last sunlight, sense the loving and pinkish clouds above, hear the strong but affectionate breakers below, marvel at the golden hue illuminating the cliffs all around, and finally witness the king, as he stepped out onto the highest point of the cliff and flung three puppies and a kitten down onto the rocks below. After a moment of silence, thanking God for receiving their offering, the people would break out into celebration. It was a joyful time of song and dance throughout Golden Point and the entire kingdom.
• • • • •
“BUT why puppies?” cried LaQueesha.
“Yeah,” chimed Milton, “Why does it have to be puppies and kittens? They’re sooo cute.”
Ms. Burkenlips rolled her eyes. She had heard it all before. What are they teaching these kids at home? Do I have to do everything? For crying out loud, they’re in second grade!
Other kids were clamoring for answers now, “Why the puppies? Why kittens? They are so cute!”
Lucius yelled, “We should throw lizards or snakes off the cliff! That’d be way better!”
“Yes,” other children chimed in, “Lizards and snakes!”
They began jumping and chanting until the entire class was singing and laughing, in unison, “Lizards and snakes! Lizards and snakes!”
“Hush, hush! Everyone, please sit down.” Ms. Burkenlips alternated pressing her palms against her skirt, then forehead, subconsciously attempting to straighten wrinkles. “I know the puppies are cute and that’s the point. God doesn’t want ugly puppies. Honestly, what are you kids thinking? The puppies have to be cute for it to make a real difference. You can’t offer up ugly animals!”
• • • • •
KING Theogad rubbed his own shoulder while conversing with the nation’s highest religious office. “Bishop Claxon, I understand the festival is a long-standing tradition, but has anyone ever thought about thinking through this differently?”
“Thinking differently?” replied Bishop Claxon. And then again, “Thinking differently?”
Theogad sighed. He knew the bishop was frustrated when he repeated a question. It gave him time to think of a response. The more frustrated the bishop grew, the more often he would repeat a question. Theogad had once heard the bishop repeat a question thirteen times before answering.
“Dear King Theogad”—the bishop drew close to Theogad and flicked imaginary dust off the king’s shoulders—“when my grandfather was a boy, he used to collect honey for a living. He had a routine. Each day.”
Theogad rolled his eyes internally.
The bishop turned abruptly while pulling down and straightening his tunic, “Up at dawn. Breakfast. Bee suit and mask on. Make the rounds. Draw the honey.” The bishop enumerated each point with a crisp tap of his thumb and fingers together as he marched in a circle. “He always felt it wasn’t a good morning’s work unless he was stung, five times at least. I would meet him for lunch in the summers and he would show me the welts.” The bishop stopped marching and stared up into the furthest corner of the vaulted ceiling, his eyes growing moist. Theogad guessed the bishop was reminiscing about the beautiful, throbbing outgrowths of pain on his father’s arm.
Theogad leaned in front of him, catching his attention, “What does this have to do with thinking differently?”
The bishop, startled, said, “Ah yes, well, I would ask my father if he ever considered wearing a different suit. One to prevent so much stinging.”
“And?” Theogad drew the word out slowly.
“Ha, ‘Of course not,’ he would reply.” He punctuated the air with a turn of his fist. “‘It’s a part of the beekeeping business. It’s the pain that reminds you of the work. It’s the fear that keeps you alive, on your toes. A new bee suit would take away the fear. Fear is what drives the business, son.’” The bishop’s gaze wandered off again, as if he were surrounded by vast fields of bees and honey.
Theogad started to follow the bishop’s gaze, then shook his head. “Wait,” he said slowly, “this is why we shouldn’t approach The Point of Sacrifice and New Beginnings for Everyone any differently than we have in the past? This is why we should continue to fling puppies and kittens off cliffs? Because if we didn’t, there would be no more fear?”
“Yes,” the bishop hopped up on one foot as he replied. “Yes, you are finally getting it! This is what my wise father was trying to teach me. It’s the new ideas that get you into trouble. It’s obvious God is more powerful than us, more intelligent than us, and able to do anything he wants to us. Theogad, He is the Almighty.” The bishop stretched his arms out wide to accentuate God’s almighty-ness. “Our sacrifices must be serious. We must make them count. Surely you know this. It’s in our act of flinging those puppies that God sees our commitment, true and straight.”
Then Bishop Claxon crouched slightly and placed one hand on Theogad. He closed his eyes and extended his other. “King Theogad, I want you to picture yourself out on that cliff … can you see it, Theogad? Can you see yourself flinging those animals?
Theogad stared blankly at the cleric’s closed eyes. “Yes, yes, you can see it there. Now … see the fear in the eyes of those animals flying through the air off into the darkness … can you picture it, Theogad?” Squeezing Theogad’s arm, he asked again, “Can you?”
Theogad raised his eyebrows at the sharpness of the man’s grip. He looked down at the rangy and bejeweled fingers clasping his arm, then back at the bishop, and slowly nodded. The bishop opened one eye to see Theogad nodding. “Yes, you can. Good.”
Squeezing his eye shut quickly, he said, “Now turn—in slow motion—and see that same fear reflected, in the eyes of the all the children watching.” His voice rose. “There at the cliffs, all throughout Golden Point, all throughout our glorious Kingdom.”
Claxon opened his eyes, suddenly and wild. “This is a good thing, Theogad. It keeps us on our toes.” Shaking a fist in the air, he added, “It’s the pain and fear that let us know we’re doing the right work.” The bishop raised his chin, spun on his heels, and as he exited, said, “Yes! Good work, Theogad!”
Theogad stood still and watched the bishop’s back disappear down the hallway.
• • • • •
THE people throughout the kingdom reserved a special place in their hearts for puppies and kittens. Those adorable little creatures were treated with more affection than all other animals. No one paid any attention to hamsters or hermit crabs, goldfish or gerbils. No, it was the puppies and kittens that garnered all the attention.
And if this was true throughout the kingdom, it was even more true the closer one got to Golden Point. The animal business thrived in the nation’s most important city. More veterinarians lived per square mile in Golden Point than anywhere else in the country. Animal groomers, walkers, excrement picker-uppers, and dieticians as well.
And if the reverence of dogs and cats increased in ever-tightening concentric circles from the outskirts of the kingdom to Golden Point, well, then it absolutely turned obsessive as one made their way further up and into the center of the city. And there in the middle of the city, the focal point of the nation, the nucleus of all that animated Golden Point’s tradition, sat the jewel of the nation: Kennel Point.
Ah yes, Kennel Point, that holiest of kennels directed by the church, protected by the military, and adored by the nation. Kennel Point was the nation’s premiere kennel. Golden Point’s citizens brought their most prized dogs and cats to the kennel, paying large sums of money in the hopes it would be their pet to sire or birth the baby animals thrown off the cliff. It was quite an honor to be associated in any way with a sacrificial puppy or kitten. One solitary puppy was offered in the old days, but, over time, God revealed He was unsatisfied with just one. It had to be two, yea, even three.
Then, thankfully, in a series of divinely inspired revelations, it was determined breed was important as well. Whereas in ancient and uncultured times, the king threw all kinds of dogs off the cliff, by King Theogad’s reign, it was widely understood that only Pomeranian, basset hound, and golden retriever puppies would serve the purpose. A kitten was thrown in for good measure in later years, but honestly, there didn’t seem to be as much concern about the cat breed. It appeared God wasn’t that impressed with cats anyhow. It was the puppies that really did the trick.
• • • • •