We started a nonprofit in Haiti a few years ago. Yeah, we call it Love Haiti. Used to be called LQVE. Why that name? Oh, crazy story, man.
I got this friend, Jason, right? Imagine him circa 2007. He's unsure of what to do with his life, so he decides to move to Utah (like you do when you don't know what to do with your life). He wants to move on a Tuesday. U-Haul doesn't have a truck until Thursday, so in the meantime, he buys some scalped tickets to see the Foo Fighters (like you do when you can’t move on a Tuesday).
At the Foo Fighters, he meets Katie. Then, postpones his move until Saturday because he wants to ask Katie out on Friday. They go out. Katie thinks he's cool, in spite of the fact he's going to Utah on Saturday, the very next day. (Ha, basically, so, I like you enough to stay one more day in Phoenix, but not enough to not move to Utah tomorrow.)
The next day, Saturday, he's got his U-Haul packed. He's leaving Phoenix. He's in the truck's cab, sporting his new Foo Fighters t-shirt, but… he's beginning to reconsider. I know, it's weird. He knows if he stays, he’ll lose his Utah-job and his Utah-house, but he cannot shake his Arizona-feeling. So, he prays for a "sign." And ... five minutes later, his truck breaks down. (Ha, some signs take a while, others happen quickly.)
Fast-forward a few weeks. Jason is back in Phoenix. He's connected with Katie. They've hit it off. Then, they get a postcard from a church. Yep, the same one that I'm pastoring at that time. The two of them decide to give the church a try. They dig it (I mean, the preaching could be better, but hey, everything else is great). They both start to think more about God and life and in no time at at all, Jason recognizes that something is happening. It can pretty much be summed up this way: While he and Katie are falling in love with each other, they're realizing that there's a God who has loved them all their lives. I know, powerful stuff. Then, they get engaged. I get the honor of marrying them. We do it in Hawaii (because, well, you should know that I only do destination weddings).
Crazy, right? Jason and Katie's life trajectory has changed because U-Haul doesn't have a truck available on a Tuesday.
They become special friends of ours. We move to KS, but we stay in touch. Then, an icy January 1st, 2015, happens, and our lives are ruptured with the news of Quincy, our daughter, being killed in a car wreck. Hundreds of friends like Jason and Katie reach out to us. We could not have made it without these friends. I mean, this is all for another post, but trust me, we could not have made it without these friends. A great number of them wind up expressing love in really genuine and amazing ways. People do all kinds of crazy things, and one crazy thing involves Jason and Katie coming to visit and giving us a gift. I open the box and it's a shirt with a design Jason created. It's simple. And brilliant: LQVE. Q for Quincy. I know! Genius.
I take a picture and send it to my marketing-friend, Matt, who's like, "Uh, this is really cool."
And I'm like, "I know."
Then, before I even try it on, I buy the URL, and look, you know you've come up with a good idea when the recipient of the shirt buys the domain name even before trying the shirt on. And a few months after that, we wind up starting a non-profit called, you guessed it, LQVE.
LQVE was an act of defiance, a thing we did to keep the pain of what had happened from getting the best of us. I mean, truthfully, when our kid was ripped away, life did take the best of us, but that part of it … well, that was out of our control. The only thing we had power over at that point was our response. So we responded the best we could. With LQVE.
Since that time, for a variety of reasons, we've changed the name to Love Haiti, and also since that time we've been able to build soccer fields, host soccer tournaments (including last year's first all-girl tournament), start schools for hundreds of children, provide healthcare to some of the most remote areas in the Western Hemisphere, resource Haitians on multiple occasions in the midst of hurricanes, earthquakes, and flooding, drill water wells, create training for wealth creation groups, and a whole bunch of other stuff that won't fit within this post. Honestly, Love Haiti has just been the wildest, most beautiful, and most challenging nine years of my entire life.
So, a quick shout out to U-Haul, and Jason, and stories, and all kinds of people who've helped us move through the pain. Of course, we haven't moved entirely through the pain. That may never happen, but we are moving.
I did not deserve to lose my daughter. But the truth is, I'm not sure I deserved to have her in the first place. Not because God or life isn't good. I didn't deserve her because the word “deserve” connotes something conditioned upon behavior. But people don’t necessarily show up in our lives because of behavior. Nah, people are gifts. Like all gifts (including t-shirts, logos, friends, cards, the Foo Fighters, texts, emails, hugs, love offerings, people going to Haiti with you, prayers, grief, joy, and on and on…), I cannot control when they come or when they go. I can only control my response. My response is simply, "Thank you."
And you, my friend, probably have lots of gifts in your life, as well. Sigh, they come, and they go, don’t they? There's not much you can do about it other than to move through it all with gratitude. So do it. What are you waiting for? Go ahead and move through it all with gratitude.
(Okay, now go listen to the Foo Fighter’s song, “Best of You,” cuz it’s cool and cuz being grateful just might keep something or someone from getting the best of you. Oh, and if you need a nonprofit to support, please consider Love Haiti.)
-Hey, guess what? My FB got suspended! Ha, we’ll see if I get it back, but either way, you can find me on other platforms by searching for, you guessed it, jonathan_foster.
-Jay McDaniel had some nice commentary for something I wrote called Deep Withiness.
-Hey, if you’re in Colorado, join me at Brew Theology Denver on Thursday night, May 9th.
-Interested in Open and Relational Theology? Then check out the latest episodes (that’s right, multiple episodes) of my podcast. Most recently, I was able to hang out with Mark Feldmeir and Hyemi Jones.
-Through opentable.network, I’m hanging out with some pastor, counselor, chaplain types April - June on Tuesday nights. You can join us as we talk about leadership in this post-post-modern age we all live in. Let me know.
Jonathan, thank you so much for this article! I've thoroughly enjoyed learning from and alongside of you on Substack and TikTok. The stories you shared in this article are incredibly heartfelt, honest, and hope inducing. Thanks for your vulnerability and willingness to share this with us!