People indoctrinated by the religious system (compensated by the financial system, insured by the scarcity system, maintained by the religious system, ad infinitum) … are people you don't need to engage.
Love might invite you to engage here and there, carefully and cautiously, but love doesn't need you to sacrifice yourself.
I was reminded of an old saying last night that speaks to this as well as anything I know: You can't help people reason out of something that they never reasoned themselves into in the first place. 👈🏼
The religious system doesn't reason. I mean, it does, but it uses its own rules of reasoning (i.e., circular logic, subtle coercion or not-so-subtle, peace by way of scapegoating, etc.)
Systems, of course, are necessary at some level. We need them to make anything meaningful in life, but when they become the end and not the means to an end, they're dumb, unimaginative, and even abusive.
I suspect that a great deal of what we're seeing, feeling, and experiencing in our world these days, especially in our religious world, is an awkward season where a lot of people are coming to this realization and then trying to figure out what to do next.
It's risky to arrive at this realization and then try to figure out what to do next, but honestly ... it's even more risky to ignore the reality.
I hope it’s helpful for you to know that I feel all this risk, too.
Life is odd … I feel myself emerging out of an old identity and stepping into a new one. I’m not sure yet how to put it (allthough, I will be meeting again with my therapist today and maybe I’ll have better language after that 🥴), but it’s something like a catapillar-to-butterfly kind of thing.
The butterfly is not a completely new species; well, at least in the sense that entomologists talk about how the butterfly will return to feed in places where they first fed as a caterpillar, the point of which, for this post, I think is that when you move onto new things, you still carry stuff from the past. The point isn't to dominate or completely rid yourself of the past. I mean, in some ways, it's impossible.
How would I rid myself of memories of my daughter (or parents, sister, nephews, nieces, and friends)? I couldn't even if I wanted to; however, what I am feeling is something lighter, different; a lure, some type of invitation to shed the identity of someone who's gone deep into their grief and walk into an identity of someone who transcends and includes their grief. True, this is the thing I’ve been attempting to do all along, but something’s different about where I’m at now.
Honestly? Between the letting go and the stepping forward is awkward.
My neurology friends talk about things like myelination, where older “pathways” become reinforced, which makes it challenging to override old thinking with new thinking.. Makes sense.
My physics friends talk about things like the craziness at the edge of chaos. The edge is where stability gives way to instability. Reality is, we need both to get to something new, but it’s a wild and uncomfortable space. Makes sense.
And us bible types talk about this in-between season as a wilderness. It's a time of upheaval, where faith is tested; where it becomes clear that faith cannot be anchored in past certainties. 👈🏼 Makes sense.
I suspect other religions have a similar idea, but as a Christian, I'm not missing the beauty in my tradition: the depth of God is found in the in-between places. 👈🏼
And if you are there as well, hey, you are not there because you are wicked. Or sinning. Or rebellious. Or anti-establishment. Or trying to be cool. No, if you are in the wilderness, it’s likely because life is one big myelination-struggling, edge of chaos, wilderness. But you’re with God …and God's with you … irrespective of what the religious system says or does.
-Looking forward to Theology Beer Camp next week. I’m doing a pre-event Open and Relational / Mimetic talk on Thursday with a bunch of ORT friends and then on Friday, 2:45pm, I’m doing a breakout session around Grief and Open and Realtional Theology. If you’re there, please say hi.
-Enjoyed talking with my friend Beth Hayward on Souls in Soles recently.
-Hey, we bumped up over a thousand Substack subscribers recently. Cool. Thanks. Share with a friend. 🙂
Yeah, I love the imagery of living at the outer crumbling edge of an old truth. My own favorite metaphor for it is that we’re living in a Holy Saturday between Good Friday/death of the old, and Easter/birth of the new. For me that’s not a time of suspended animation in non-being until the next thing comes, but a fertile time in rich nourishing darkness, wherein the new thing is shaping itself in sacred mystery.
Well done. I'm sharing this with my friends.